You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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