You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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