you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
