Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
