i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize