I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
