im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
