that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
