I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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