Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
