Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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