This is not my ceiling
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
