Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
