Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
