Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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