O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
