Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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