So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
