I am puke
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
