i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize