you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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