I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
