I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
