im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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