his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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