i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
