Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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