Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
