thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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