You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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