I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
