i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
