She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't deserve a penis
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
