dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
