i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
