I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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