Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
