he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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