you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
