What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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