She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
