i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
third nipple confirmed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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