it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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