I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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