Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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