he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you win again, gameday.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
