I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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