found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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