areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
