The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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