And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
