We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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