I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
