I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
