If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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