the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
