watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
