Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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