She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
