Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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