i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
