Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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