umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
