Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
