Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
