You smell like a Billy Joel song
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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